Speaking of Party Boys

23 06 2010

Somebody’s Learning to Dance the Twelve-Step

Chris Klein checked into Cirque Lodge the other day. He did what he had to do, I guess, having bagged himself a DUI arrest last week—which didn’t bode well in light of his 2005 DUI conviction. Apparently, he was swerving on the 101. I like to think that it looked something like this, only with his dog, who was reportedly in there somewhere, too:

Jonathan Cross (Chris Klein) after a night of partying in Rollerball (2002).

Yeah, that’s right. Rollerball. Oh, you didn’t know? You better call somebody. Because Rollerball was a better remake than most people allow themselves to admit. I don’t have anything else to say about Chris Klein’s 30-day stay, anyway. That was just a gateway to post screen grabs from something that nobody on the planet besides me was thinking about.

Why. What were you feeling in 2002? Shakira? 8 Mile? The Osbournes?

I’m not suggesting that the film is perfect, mind you. An extended chase sequence at the end of the second act, for example, is shot in night vision, which is so distracting and ugly that this fifteen minutes of the film is almost unwatchable. But as far as if-this-goes-on dystopian scenarios go, this bread-and-circus tale is fairly respectable. It’s got globalization and commodification galore.

“Label out.”

It’s also got loads of industrial grime and not a little violence.

There will be blood alcohol level.

If nothing else, it’s fun to look at five years ago as depicted by a creative team eight years ago.

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Re-Wrought Mascot, Thought Hot, Not

18 08 2009

Not a Lot of Thought Brought to Fraught Plot

An unheard-of Southern university that nobody cares about just shelled out $30K for a new logo and mascot for their team sports program (whose athletes go by “The Colonels”, in reference to some unheard-of Confederate hero that nobody cares about either). Everyone’s having trouble digging up an image of the old logo and mascot, which should really come as no surprise, since the new mascot—or at least his kind—is notorious for gassing the elderly and the infirm. I did come across this ornery feller, whose photo was tagged as “old nicholls mascot”:

masgot, mein gott!

Old mascot (or variant; who knows or cares), left. Old logo, top right. New logo, always right.

The old logo is slightly more patriotic-looking, I guess, although technically it does still feature some pretty severe impalement. The new logo, meanwhile, keeps some very respectable company:

The latest in a long, proud line of wearers of the blood-red, black and gray

What are you waiting for? Join the club. We said JOIN THE CLUB.





Postmodern Gods Combine Forces and Officially Blow My Mind

12 09 2008

If My Previous Two Posts Ever Got Together and Made Babies, One of Them Would Look a Lot Like This

As if “Good Morning” weren’t awesome enough, witness as heterochromic Dropout Bear navigates superflat and futuristic Universe City. Empathize as he gets beat down, and savor his defiance of the crapitalist myth of paper as panacaea. I’m about as huge a Murakami fan as can be imagined, but I still wasn’t prepared for this. It’s cooler than a Louis Vuitton purse.

Vandal eyes.

Universe City’s university has neon signage, and only Murakami could send the capital of a Neoclassic facade into cute overload. Oh, and I’m especially fond of the football-playing gorillas.

You got D’s.

Long live KanYe. It’s hard to find a high-quality version for which the embedding hasn’t been disabled; this one’s not bad, and with any luck it won’t be removed for at least a few hours. Behold:





Vandal I’s

8 09 2008

Idaho University Vandals Recall, Alter Poorly-Designed Football Uniform

Nike sponsored the uniforms, and claims they were manufactured according to design specifications. Idaho insists that the “I” logo was supposed to be higher up, at the belt line. They actually played in these uniforms, as seen here.

Of course the sweat pant butt writing trend—Victoria’s Secret “pioneered” it, right?—comes immediately to mind. That look was tired the second I laid eyes on it. You’re not cute.

Apparently the logos were stitched onto the uniform, and have already been removed. Not in my universe, however. I freaked the image below, if for no other reason, because I could.

There’s blog-clog on this thing all over the place, but if you want the unfortunate details, here’s a link to get you started:

http://www.idahostatesman.com/235/story/493284.html