Buffalo David Bitton Launches Online Store

5 09 2009

Finally.

Yeah, so I’m on the Buffalo mailing list, which has been sorta masochistic on my part, since the nearest store is hundreds of miles away from me in Ontario. As it happens, I almost deleted the online store notification email, because my inbox is a disaster area and I’ve been ruthlessly deleting new mail as a stop-gap measure. But the words “online store now open” in the subject line caught my eye just in time. My day was made, and then some.

No rest until every sidewalk looks like a runway.

A still from the main screen animation. The slickness is sustained. And who doesn’t love free shipping.

Remember how, a few summers ago, if you wanted to buy a pair of shorts that weren’t plaid, you were shit-out-of-luck? All the ready-to-wear labels were following the same lame cues: the gay ones. I’ve always loved Buffalo for being decidedly different and defiantly non-Abercrombie (unlike Express, which has basically become A+F with ties). Buffalo has always had a dirty-nerdy yet masculine thing going on, and the seasonal lines always seem more informed by things that I’m into.  Most crucially, the label has managed to remain fresh and appealing without being cost-prohibitive for those of us who don’t have daddies. The only drawback, historically, has been availability. My MSA, for example, has an alarmingly elderly demographic, so needless to say my zip code is not home to one of Buffalo’s 50-odd store locations. And I don’t go on regular clothing expeditions into the city because I’m not a girl. Besides, even in the cities nearby, the only place I’d be able to buy David Bitton stuff would be in a department store, and I don’t count Bloomingdale’s as a reliable Buffalo source; they only stock the tamest items, which defeats the purpose of going out of your way to buy unique clothing. In other words, if I wanted to look like a Stepford fag or wear my price tag on my sleeve, I’d shop at Diesel.

All the best features.

All the features you’ve come to expect from an online store: multiple views, detail zooms and “look” recommendations. Here, an over-sized animal logo polo I can really get behind. I’m totally down with the white stitching.

I guess the bottom line is that once again the internet saves a whole lotta people a shitload of hassle. And if you think clothes don’t warrant this kind of attention, then you’re either a nudist or a clone, and I have nothing to say about you either way (unless you’re fat—if you are, then you probably shouldn’t be a nudist).

I can only assume that the free shipping is a promotion to celebrate the launch. I can’t imagine it lasting long, so avail yourselves of the perk sooner rather than later.

Hey, Club Monaco, where’s your online store?





Headless Clotheshorseman Gives Carlos Freire the A|X

26 08 2009

Recommended for You: People Who Liked Legend of Creepy Shallow Also Liked Ripped van Twinkle

Everyone’s been wondering where Brazilian model Carlos Freire’s head is in the new A|X ad campaign (which you’ve seen by now unless you’re one of those people who doesn’t believe in magazines).

Headless Clotheshorseman 1

Say what you will about over-defined abs (I’m not a fan; I think they make people look like insects), Freire has the most impressive—if hypertrophied—external obliques in the business. My God. They’re gourd-shaped.

It is kinda weird. There’re, like, twenty different proofs featuring Freire that made their way, in some incarnation, into this campaign, and he’s headless in every single one of them (to be fair, I think I remember seeing one in which, like, one-third of Freire’s mouth is visible).

Headless Clotheshorseman 2

The commodification of the male torso continues. Heads just get in the way.

Quiz time! Without typing his name into an image search (or having a gear fetish, which gives you an unfair advantage), do you know which of the Brazilian male model heads below belongs to Carlos Freire?

Hey, mister.

Once you’ve made your selection, hold your computer up to a mirror to see if you were right!