Furverts Thrown Bone

1 07 2010

Yiffy Ad Campaign Continues to Cater to Niche Fetish

This zoomorphic Orangina ad campaign has been going strong for, like, two or three years now, but the new 10-second shaving spot caught my attention. It just went up on Orangina’s YouTube channel, which is where the company tests out its ads before moving the most popular ones to television. Oh, and if you think I’m being crass or presumptuous about the whole furry angle, just check out the “enthusiastic” comments left on the Orangina channel page. You’ll find that the usernames and avatars kinda speak for themselves.

Big game deodorizing with Orangina after big game.

Way to tap into the whole locker room fantasy thing, BTW. So here’s the deal with these print and video ads: talking animals walk erect among us, hanging out and hooking up with human beings as if this were the most normal thing in the world. Animal anatomies are barely zoomorphed. Toes are spread on hoofed mammals just enough to afford working digits; pupils are altered on carnivores just enough to express non-verbal cues.

Okay, so, animals. Not really original, but the approach is disciplined, so in theory I’m still on board.

Where they lose me is when they start messing with my semantic differentiation. I mean, my human brain is still pretty plastic, but my monkey brain doesn’t like being told to drink detergent. Oh, you mean I can put floor wax in my mouth and swallow it? Thanks for nothing, Mr. Yuk™. Depicting a soft drink as an H&BA item is pushing it—watching a female panda laud the merits of using Orangina as a douche definitely tested my limits, as did the zit-popping chameleon (as if lizards weren’t repellent enough). But depicting a known potable as a household cleaning agent seems counterintuitive for a reason.

Delusional puma aftershaving with Orangina before misbehaving with body hair-less cat.

This new one, though, which may or may not ever find its way to French TV, really makes me wanna take aerosol shots of Orange Pledge® right from the can (no wax, no buildup; removes up to 84% of allergens in dust). Because most furries are same-sex oriented, it was probably only a matter of time before Orangina reinforced the stereotype of homosexual men as shallow, mirror-gazing body fascists by slapping some abs on a lower mammal. And not just any lower mammal, but one from the Feliformia suborder: an effing cat!  Real nice—everybody knows they spend way too much time grooming.


In the Summer, In the Spring; In Public Places

23 09 2009

On An Island Far Away, Lemonade with My Co Co Co

Coco Before Chanel is Coco before Chanel. This movie is enjoyable. It was a little too long, even by biopic standards, but it’s nice to look at so I didn’t really mind. As a period piece, Coco Before Chanel called for some pretty odd set dressing (e.g., fin de siècle rural French orphanage). I guess my point in mentioning this is that somebody did a really nice job with the details, because I believed every frame. And here’s the skinny on the plot: Coco Chanel is depicted as extremely hardened, pragmatic and self-reliant—which is what the viewer expects, given the implied pattern of abandonment to which she is subjected. Of course, then, the introduction and inevitable removal of a tragic “one true love”  makes for great cinema. Millinery improvisation and melodramatic scissor-snipping are kept to a tolerable minimum.

Even though this film’s not about Chanel the brand, it does end with an amazing coda, or whatever, which involves a parade of models and which is probably flawless in composition. In fact, I hope this part ends up on YouTube, because I want to watch it, like, a hundred times in a row.

Okay, good enough. Now comes the fun part:

Fruits Basket-esque

Chanel overload (photograph by Sebastian Kim, Interview, 2009; obviously, this shitty scan detail doesn’t do it justice—click here for full image)

Eyeing C Chart

Iconic sans-serif C as “piercings”  in eye chart (Symbol Soup, 1999)

Untrust me.

Chanel logo as band logo (allows for endless official and fan-art variations).

I didn't need to change the font--it was eerily identical.

A little something I freaked last year.

G.I. Joe A Must-See for People (Such as Myself) Who Enjoy Watching Cars Get Tossed Around Like Toys

8 08 2009

Airborne Cars Galore For, Like, Fifteen Minutes Straight

Well, I saw G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra last night, and I am still high from it, so here’s a new post. I guess I should issue a spoiler alert just in case I give something away; consider yourself warned. Okay, so the action is straight-up non-stop, which is really rare, but the highlight for me was a protracted car chase scene situated squarely in the middle of the film. I actually believed it, even though it was centered around an outlandish plot for world domination. During this soon-to-be legendary Paris sequence, director Stephen Sommers pulverizes more sedans in fifteen minutes than Michael Bay has managed over the course of his entire filmography. And this is a fan of the highway chase scene from Bay’s The Island talking.

Anyway, the Baroness jumps into her getaway car, which is an utterly sick humvee (Storm Shadow gets shotgun), and “the Joes” (this term gets bandied about quite a bit, unfortunately) are in close pursuit. Almost at the onset of the chase, and long before she resorts to using the guided missiles and other weaponry with which the humvee is equipped (naturally),  the Baroness presses a button and a cowcatcher-like pilot sort of constructs itself (think CGI) at the front of the humvee.  As she literally plows through traffic at obscene speeds, you can only imagine the carnage. Well, no, wait, you don’t have to imagine it; look:


We’re talking from intersection to intersection. For blocks. Almost uninterrupted.

Now I’m not sure that I qualify as a nerd, so I can’t speak for the person going into this thing with Simpsons-comic-book-store-guy evaluation criteria, but I was a nerdy kid who played with the action figures (a.k.a. “my G.I. Joe guys”) and watched the cartoon—even though after a point this conflicted with my paper route. So I was psyched to see many of the bigger code names as well as some of the more soap opera-esque back-stories and origin stories. Also, remember how, even as a kid, the G.I. Joe cartoon was “so fake” because nobody ever died? Both sides had at their disposal state-of-the-art laser pistols, which were 100% accurate when it came to inanimate objects, yet both sides somehow always seemed to just miss human targets. Well, thanks to the miracle of the PG-13 rating category, in the live-action version of this saga I lost track of the body count by the fourth or fifth extended sequence. Actually, I didn’t lose track so much as lost interest in keeping track, since the Cobra “guys” were so awesomely interpreted that I was paying more attention to their evildoing. Suffice it to say, in the film people never miss their targets. Be it by hand-to-hand combat, exotic throwing weapon (yes, Storm Shadow has and uses his “Chinese star”, the one you lost within five minutes of unwrapping him at your birthday party), or ambiguous but punch-packing “pulse” ray, people drop like flies here–sometimes gruesomely and almost always lethally. So that was refreshing.

This blockbuster, coupled with District 9, should totally tide me over until 2012.

I guess in closing I have to “add a layer”, or connect all of this to something else, in order for it to be relevant to this blog. Here’s a drawing from David Macaulay’s 1978 collection Great Moments in Architecture that should make sense to you even if you’ve only seen the trailer for this film.

Nice and Neat

I also recommend Macaulay’s Motel of the Mysteries. It’s even weirder.

P.S.: Storm Shadow so totally could’ve survived that fall.