Furverts Thrown Bone

1 07 2010

Yiffy Ad Campaign Continues to Cater to Niche Fetish

This zoomorphic Orangina ad campaign has been going strong for, like, two or three years now, but the new 10-second shaving spot caught my attention. It just went up on Orangina’s YouTube channel, which is where the company tests out its ads before moving the most popular ones to television. Oh, and if you think I’m being crass or presumptuous about the whole furry angle, just check out the “enthusiastic” comments left on the Orangina channel page. You’ll find that the usernames and avatars kinda speak for themselves.

Big game deodorizing with Orangina after big game.

Way to tap into the whole locker room fantasy thing, BTW. So here’s the deal with these print and video ads: talking animals walk erect among us, hanging out and hooking up with human beings as if this were the most normal thing in the world. Animal anatomies are barely zoomorphed. Toes are spread on hoofed mammals just enough to afford working digits; pupils are altered on carnivores just enough to express non-verbal cues.

Okay, so, animals. Not really original, but the approach is disciplined, so in theory I’m still on board.

Where they lose me is when they start messing with my semantic differentiation. I mean, my human brain is still pretty plastic, but my monkey brain doesn’t like being told to drink detergent. Oh, you mean I can put floor wax in my mouth and swallow it? Thanks for nothing, Mr. Yuk™. Depicting a soft drink as an H&BA item is pushing it—watching a female panda laud the merits of using Orangina as a douche definitely tested my limits, as did the zit-popping chameleon (as if lizards weren’t repellent enough). But depicting a known potable as a household cleaning agent seems counterintuitive for a reason.

Delusional puma aftershaving with Orangina before misbehaving with body hair-less cat.

This new one, though, which may or may not ever find its way to French TV, really makes me wanna take aerosol shots of Orange Pledge® right from the can (no wax, no buildup; removes up to 84% of allergens in dust). Because most furries are same-sex oriented, it was probably only a matter of time before Orangina reinforced the stereotype of homosexual men as shallow, mirror-gazing body fascists by slapping some abs on a lower mammal. And not just any lower mammal, but one from the Feliformia suborder: an effing cat!  Real nice—everybody knows they spend way too much time grooming.

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Plague of Bears To Be Unleashed on Select Theater Audiences as Punishment for Arriving Early

25 11 2009

Conservatives with Weakened Immune Systems Already Experiencing Allergic Reaction to Rare 11th Plague; Vaccine-Resistant Viral Clip May Also Convince Stubborn Eskimo to Rethink Unnecessary Air Travel, Free Israelites

You guys know I find politics gross, but I really wanna talk about this clip, and there’s no way to do it without trudging through hot-button sludge. So here goes. A nickel-bag environmentalist group in England somehow rustled up the funds to produce the following clip, which is blue-filtered and moody and Bolero-like and melodramatic and artsy and all of the things that a good theater commercial should be. That’s right, I like commercials—that doesn’t make me a capitalist any more than a conscious effort to reduce my carbon footprint makes me a communist.

Fueled by blind, impotent rage, scores of resentful, self-imagined guardians of truth instantly responded to this new threat with a barrage of climate statistics and strange references to Al Gore.  This counteroffensive, however, will probably prove ineffective against the bears, which are computer-generated and not really falling from the sky. YouTube is not the front, and the comments sections are not the trenches. Get over yourselves. You’re taking all of the good out of it, and ruining it for the rest of us.

There will be blood.

The channel that I embedded from is called “adsoftheworldcom“, and the theme of the channel is not global warming or climate change or making fun of birthers, but rather—you guessed it—ads of the world. It’s seemingly a repository for cool ads. That’s why I thought the comments for this clip might break YouTube precedent and actually be about style and technique and approach. It was naive of me, I now realize, to expect that the invisible chains of relevance would hold. Again, I thought we could all just enjoy the fact that it really looks like there are polar bears falling out of the sky. Yeah, the factoid is specious and the mammal use is over-the-top sentimental. Yeah, the cause is too niche. But the jet engine SFX are synchronized well, and incongruous imagery is always a treat. Usually the comments are an amusing supplement to any popular YouTube video, but today they just made me feel like I was living in a social Dark Age.

This is something that happens.

This is not something that happens. It looks really crazy, though, right?