Short, Barefoot Photographer Temporarily Loses Camera to Coolest Celebrity Ever

15 06 2010

Sing-Songy Protest Rendered More Ridiculous by Thick Accent

I’ve been waiting for something really, really awesome to happen so that a blog post after so many months of inactivity wouldn’t seem forced. I’d just about given up hope on anything awesome happening ever again. That’s when I saw this:

Shia LaBeouf has always struck me as somebody who would be fun as hell to party with. Seeing him stare down some cameraman across a fence “over the gate” definitely reinforced this perception. Plus, didn’t that dude just, like, apologize, or whatever, for the Transformers sequel, which I didn’t see? I’m not looking it up, but I think I saw something to that effect in my feeds.

L: Shia LaBeouf in I, Robot (2004); R: Shia LaBeouf in the Walgreens incident (2007)

Anyway, I have a few observations. First of all, I love how the photographer pronounces it “Shia LE Beouf”  instead of “Shia LA Beouf”. If you’re trying to get along with your celebrity, the first thing you’re probably gonna wanna do is pronounce his name correctly. Especially if you’re presumptuous enough to use familiar terms like “bro” and “dog” with someone who, by your own admission, you’ve never badgered all day from behind your lens before. If English is your L2, then all the more reason to get it right.

This is unfair of you, bro. This is unfair of you, man. Very unfair of you, dog.

Secondably, the chanting at the beginning is accidentally brilliant. That photographer missed his calling, because he’s spitting some ill shit:

Shia LaBeouf.
Shia LaBeouf.
In my car.
Look at Shia LaBeouf,
Touching my stuff,
In my car.

Okay, Shia.

Somebody totally needs to mash that audio into something somewhere. Out of context, it sounds straight-up altermodern. Oh, and why does a person named Renée Zellweger get mentioned as somebody who’s cool with paparazzi? Who’s looking for pics of her?

Wot, no crybaby paparazzi?

If you’re interested in going reductio ad absurdum with this, then you should go here. The “-shia-” interfix gets old quick, but if you haven’t seen it before, the ridiculousness catches you off guard in a good way.

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